How Does Having Sex with Multiple People Affect my Brain and Health?

Research has shown that the more sexual partners someone has, the more likely they are to abuse drugs. The two increase linearly. When our relationships go poorly, we turn to substances, and when substances wreck us, we turn to our relationship. Both leave us wanting, neither meet our needs. We weren’t designed to sleep around like animals. Doing so doesn’t make us happier, it actually makes us malfunction. The more we hook up and sleep around, the less capable we are of developing healthy, natural relationships. The more we do this, the more we become socially estranged and biochemically altered. The more we hook up, the less able we are to produce oxytocin, which is the biochemical glue that helps people develop meaningful, healthy relationships. The more we hook up, the more broken we become inside and the more likely we are to use drugs to start numbing the pain. Our society labels this fun and cool, the reality is that it is slowly sucking away our souls.

Did you know you don’t have to numb the pain, you can face it? Did you know you don’t have to sleep around to feel valued or loved? Did you know your parents and grandparents are capable of helping your heart heal? If your parents aren’t safe or stable, there are other people in your life who are. Maybe a pastor, or a mentor. No human can meet all of our needs. We need lots of healthy relationships with both men and women, people older and younger than us. We cannot and should not put all of our hope into one person. Our relationships are like the roots of a tree. Each one makes us stronger and more resilient. When we are having sex outside of marriage and at a young age, our tendency is to make our sex partner the center of our world. When we do this we cut off all the other roots. When the storms of life come, we have one measly root holding us upright. The result is that the tiniest gust of wind can uproot us entirely and make our world feel like it is crumbling.

“For those who lead these people are leading them from the right way, and those who are led by them are going the wrong way. 17 So the Lord is not pleased…” —Isaiah 9:16-17a

Discussion Questions

Have you ever believed that getting the right girl or boyfriend would make you happy?

Have you ever believed that having a better marriage with more intimacy and understanding would solve some of the problems you are facing?

The only person whose responses and actions we can control are our own. What can you do to better your own situation instead of blaming others or expecting them to fix things for us?

Have you ever placed your well-being in the hands of a significant other? How did it turn out for you? How can we invite God into the center of our relationships more? How would this change things?

What do you think happily ever after is? Do you think it exists on this side of heaven? Have your views on this changed over the years?

Are the treasures you are seeking on earth or in heaven? Jesus said store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither rust rots or moths eat away. For where your treasure is there your heart will be also.

Which people in your life are stable? Can you think of three people who you would like to develop deeper, healthier relationships with? It is best if they are older, not abusing drugs, have healthy relationships themselves, and of the same sex as you. Send a text to them today.